Nanny, nanny, poo poo

OK, I have no idea why I titled this entry "Nanny, nanny, poo poo" other than because I'm about to update on our nanny search adventures. It was the first phrase that came to mind.

Recently we decided that we'd have to figure out a way to afford a nanny and pull Cooper out of daycare. Pulling him out of daycare was step one and was easy enough (minus the part about me working full time while caring for a sick baby full time too) - I mean, all I had to do was sign a piece of paper saying we give our 2-week notice to give up our treasured spot/crib in the infant room at the fabulous Tutor Time chalet around the corner. Done.

Fortunately, the next day when I called to speak with the center director, I didn't even have to ask for a waiver of the 2-week notice/fee policy because the director had already gotten in contact with the owner to request a waiver on our behalf. In her words "you've been through enough...you've paid for far more services than you've used...after all, Cooper only spent MAYBE 2 weeks worth of days here and you've paid for 3 months worth..." That was a pleasantly surprising conversation. She also indicated we have a spot on the waiting list so that if/when Cooper is strong enough to return, we can bring him back relatively quickly (without waiting a few months) when the time is right. Excellent.

Next step, finding a nanny that would appreciate, not just tolerate, our crazy proposed schedule which is our way of reducing the cost of having a nanny since we can't afford the going rate around here for a typical full-time schedule. Our proposal: have someone here just on the days that Bob is away, provide the nanny with the month's schedule in advance, pay a rate of $15/hour but for an average of 15 days/month, equating to a weekly rate of....drumroll please.....$450. (Julie clears throat to remove lump that appears every time this figure is mentioned). To some, this may sound like a real rip off (and if you're in this category then you probably don't live in CA or NY or any other big metropolitan area), to those in metropolitan cities this may sound like one heck of a bargain. Either way, to afford it, we've had to discontinue our 401k contributions, end our dependent care flexible spending account contributions, and we're considering turning in my car at the lease end which is in one month and try to manage with one car (we're both VERY skeptical about the car part of the plan). Bob is canceling some of his investment research memberships, I already eliminated some luxuries (no more spa visits, now more fake nails or salon hair color, etc.), we've canceled Christmas (seriously - only buying for our folks and a couple of necessary items for Cooper) and decided that the recent photo shoot we had done of Cooper at "The Picture People" for his 6 month old photos will constitute our gift to each other. We're OK about this because we know 1-it's critically important for Cooper's health, and 2-it's temporary and when he's stronger, which we hope will be the case by next fall, Cooper will return to daycare.

So...on to the search. We sent a mass email out to everyone we know in southern CA asking for leads for nannies. I also joined a fee-based online service that allows families to post nanny jobs and candidates to post profiles and both parties can exchange communications through the site. We decided we can not use an agency since they all wanted approximately $3-4k for an upfront placement fee (totally absurd). Within 24 hours of posting the job description I had 23 applicants! I spent about 3-4 evenings on the phone with candidates and invited 5 to come to our home this past Sunday to interview in person. Several of the candidates were making $500-600 per week full-time and needed to stay in that range to make ends meet but there were about 10 who either really liked what we were proposing in terms of schedule/pay combination or were willing to consider it because we were offering a generous package of paid time off and a weekly rate that would be consistent to make up for fact that there would be some really short weeks.

I expected we'd have to do several interview days (thinking we'd be lucky if 1 out of 10 was decent) so I didn't get my hopes up that the first interview day would yield "the one". I prepared paperwork - a customized application form, a printout of the job description and a list of paid holidays, sick days, vacation days, etc. so it was all laid out up front. I printed samples of Bob's schedule for a few months to provide a visual of what a typical month would look like. I had a list of questions and a game plan for seeing how each would handle Cooper.

The interviews started at 8:30am and the last one ended at 8:30pm. The candidate would arrive, I'd greet her, welcome her in, escort her to the kitchen and ask her to wash her hands. Once hands were washed I handed Cooper to her and invited her to join me in the dining room to proceed with the interview. Each interview was around 90-120 minutes. Cooper would be in the candidate's arms for part (but not all) of the interview and in Bob's arms for the other parts and in between interviews. I watched each candidate communicate with Cooper and observed whether they made an effort to engage him and to stimulate him or whether they took appropriate and/or creative steps to calm him or distract him when he fussed or cried. For the candidates that I had a good feeling about, I gave them a short tour of the relevant areas of the house. For those that I knew were not a fit for the job I skipped the tour.

By the end of the day we were surprised that we actually had 2 really great candidates we were considering offering the job to (contingent upon the outcome of reference and background checks, of course). Of the 5 candidates, 2 were really great, 2 were pretty good, and 1 got a resounding "oh hell no" rating.

We settled on the candidate that had worked for more families vs the one that had more daycare/preschool experience. Our first choice lives very close to us and we felt we wouldn't have to worry about traffic or other car issues causing tardiness, whereas the second choice lived quite far and is new to the L.A. area so that was a risk (plus, she had a night class far away that she'd want to rush out to get to and we don't think she had a realistic picture of how long it would take to get there). Both have baby sign language knowledge/skills which they offered to teach to us and Cooper.

We offered the position (again. contingent upon positive outcome of reference and background checks) to our first choice and she accepted. I completed the reference checking yesterday (all glowing - and, one of her references knows a well-known partner in my office so that was nice to hear - validating that it was a real and not made-up reference, at least in my mind). I just received the results of the background check and that is all good news too - clean as a whistle. BTW, I often wondered why whistles are considered clean, but I digress. The best news is that she starts Monday! Even though I am still not getting much sleep at all, I'm so relieved already to know that help is just around the bend.

Thank you to my friends and neighbors, especially Clare, Michelle, and Cindy, who went out of their way to pass along info about our need for a nanny and drummed up some possibilities for us. Even though we found our new nanny on our own, we really appreciate the effort you made to help us - you ladies are amazing and I am so honored to be a beneficiary of your constant support and friendship.

The next two days will be challenging - Bob goes back to work tomorrow morning and I'll be home with Cooper trying to put in full-time work hours as well. To prepare for it I've been working extra hours the past three days, cranking through a task list that is a couple of pages long. It's taken me three days just to compose this note because I've been so busy with work - but it's felt good to be focused and productive while Bob has been home with Cooper these past few days.