Oh the indignities - TMI warning

As I hope you've noticed, I've tried to really stay positive throughout this pregnancy. My situation is what it is and I can't do much to change it so why dwell on the negative, right? Today I was thinking about how my positive outlook and happy-go-lucky blog posts could leave some to believe its really not so bad being pregnant and on bed rest and nothing could be further from the truth.

Don't get me wrong - I still feel blessed and honored to be carrying precious Baby Olsen - and I'll do whatever it takes to get him here safely when the time is right for him to join the outside world. BUT - there are many indignities that go along with my situation that I don't talk much about except in private with others who have been pregnant, are currently, and can relate to the issues that are unique to those of us who are serving the bed rest sentence.

I think it is time to reveal what some of these indignities are.

• Limited bathing permitted -- due to the requirement of avoiding walking and standing and sitting up for periods of time, one of the rules I must follow is that I can only shower once every few days. I can't get around this rule by taking baths either because I'm not permitted to take baths because I have a cerclage in place and am high risk for infections that are easily initiated by soaking in one's own bath water. I must go for 2-3 days without washing up and my only way around this is to do the dreaded wash cloth style washing but that must be done quickly so that I'm not standing up for more than a couple minutes at a time. It is not fun to be dirty and have to lay in bed all day/night and its not fun for Bob who has to change the sheets more frequently than normal because my dirty self is laying on them all day and night.
  
• Sweating -- The hormones cause me to heat up very quickly and easily and laying in bed all the time makes me heat up even quicker. I'm constantly sweating - my legs, arms, crotch - just about everywhere. There are times when I get up to go use the bathroom and my lightweight sweats/pj's are soaked from my waist to my knees in sweat and I have to take them off and smell them - YUP you read that right - smell them - to make sure its sweat and not leaked amniotic fluid or other fluids that could be serious danger signs of preterm labor. I try to not go through too many clothes since I'm not going anywhere but there are days where I go through as many as three sets of PJ's because of this sweating business.
  
• Constipation & Gas -- Anyone that has been pregnant, or married to a pregnant woman, knows that constipation and gas is rampant throughout pregnancy. It's incredibly uncomfortable. The constipation is a real problem for me and anyone who has a cerclage (that's the stitches that are keeping my cervix closed) because if it became severe enough the backup and attempts to get movement down there could result in damage to the cerclage and the cervix. To avoid this I have to take stool softeners daily - they don't help if I take them when I think I need them because the type I'm allowed to take while pregnant are so limited in effectiveness that it has to be in your system all the time for it ever to work. And, let me tell you - it barely works at all. I have to supplement it by eating lots of fiber which just makes the gas worse. As for the gas thing -- its bad enough for women with normal pregnancies but at least THOSE women can leave the room or go outside to spare their loved ones from the aftermath - but those of us on bed rest have nowhere to go. So I have to hope that nobody walks into my bedroom after releasing some unpleasant gas but it never seems to fail - like a Murphy's law or something - that if I have to pass some gas, someone IS going to walk in and then I have to hear about it too - as if the humiliation of knowing someone knows wasn't enough.
  
• Discharge -- Oh yeah - this is a favorite. Pregnant women experience increased discharge of cervical mucus during pregnancy. It's unpleasant enough just dealing with it privately but then when you're on bed rest you have the added bonus of everyone else knowing about it too since you can't do your own laundry. Sure, I take steps to minimize the evidence of this unpleasantry - using panty liners - but come on, mix that discharge with all the nasty sweating going on and things get all moved around and mixed up down there and inevitably my panties are not looking too nice by the end of the day.
  
• Heacaches, hip aches, back aches, oh my! -- As of today, I've spent 9 weeks in bed. I can't sit up, I have to lay on my sides and can't lay on my back because baby is big enough now that the weight of baby and fluids presses too much on an artery which cuts off oxygen to me and the baby when in that position. My hips are sore all the time, my back is sore too because I've lost so much muscle tone and strength and it can't adequately support the constant side laying position without causing pain. The hormones rushing through my body (natural and injected) give me occasional headaches. None of these aches can be treated by anything but Tylenol at this point since that's the only really safe medication for pain during pregnancy. I will be having physical therapy/massage soon but we have to get to this point where we're in pain before such interventions get prescribed. Thankfully (I think) I'm now at that point so help will soon be on the way. However, since I can't be in any other positions I've been warned that the relief I may get from PT/massage will really only last during the time that its being done.
  
• Looking and feeling like a blob -- On those lucky shower days when I get to feel so clean (ah the joy!!), I still get to look and feel like a mess because I'm not allowed to stand long enough to blow-dry my hair. So I dry off, get clothes on and get back in bed and within an hour my hair is air-dried and looks exactly like the crazy mess it looked like before the shower. I tried putting make-up on a couple times when I knew someone was coming over but found it to be a waste of my standing up time which I think is better spent taking a trip to the kitchen or to the patio - can't have it all so I have to choose wisely. My husband has been so wonderful in spite of me not looking like the person that he married just 6 months ago - he does a wonderful job pretending he's not horrified by the site of me since I am such a mess all the time and now pushing 40 lbs heavier than that momentous romantic day back in October. But, I just have to say that it really sucks to see myself in the mirror - my body is not mine anymore and while I appreciate and honor its current purpose, it still really sucks! Maybe the next indignity is for the better....
  
• No sex - NONE -- Due to the serious nature of my diagnosis (incompetent cervix), and its treatment (cerclage), not only am I on bed rest but I am on "pelvic rest" for the entire pregnancy. I am not allowed to have ANY action down there at all - NONE. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for two simple facts: 1- most pregnant women are hornier than ever while pregnant, and 2-I'm still a newlywed! It turns out that sexual stimulation and orgasm are actually risky because of my condition because they can stimulate uterine contractions which clearly we don't want me having since I'm already at risk for preterm labor. So....again, I'm happy to make this sacrifice for Baby Olsen, and Bob is totally fine with it too (bless his heart), but it still really sucks! We can't even remember the last time we had sex - but I can guess and frankly by the time Baby Olsen arrives and I'm cleared to resume having sex we will have gone about 6-7 months without sex and that's just crazy in my book! UGH.
  
• Bearing my naked bum weekly to a stranger -- Every Friday afternoon I get to flash my naked and rapidly increasing rear end to a nurse for my weekly 17P injection and I get to do this in my living room where anyone can walk in - Bob, my dad, the neighborhood kids who have a key so they can come walk the dog.

OK, so hopefully that helps set the record straight about the lack of "fun" that is pregnancy on bed rest and pelvic rest. =) Thank goodness for that "for better or for worse" clause in those marriage vows! ;)